His Moods are Worse than His P
from Brenda R.

You mentioned that Ed has mood swings. So does my husband! To be frank, they’re almost more difficult to live with than his flaking. No, they ARE more difficult to live with.

I’ve thought many times about encouraging him to get counseling – not from his derm, but from a psychiatrist or psychologist. Should I go ahead and suggest this?  -Brenda R.

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Clara’s Response: Ed’s mood swings were at their worst when he was using methotrexate to treat his P. He wasn’t aware that he got mean and short-tempered, and since the drug was working for him, he didn’t react well to my suggestion that it was making him mean.

To deal with Ed’s mood swings I had to be able to change my “mood.” I learned the hard way that fighting back wasn’t the answer. When Ed was being short tempered it was best for me to be forgiving and out of the line of fire. It wasn’t always easy to be tip-toeing around the grouch, but I knew it wouldn’t last long. Even on methotrexate a good night’s sleep would lighten his mood. Ed and I really didn’t talk about his methotrexate-related mood swings until he stopped using the medicine. Then he was receptive and I think what I had to say contributed to his decision not to use methotrexate anymore unless there were no other choices.

The most important thing about Ed’s mood swings that I’ve learned is not to let him fall into a “feeling sorry for myself” depression. I WILL step in and let him know when I think that’s starting to happen. And it’s not always because of his psoriasis. Like any of us, the trials and tribulations of everyday life can catch up with him, but because he does have severe psoriasis, the stress can make it worse, and that’s why I step in and do whatever I can to counter a “feeling sorry for myself” situation. How do you help those situations? I suppose all couples have their own ways. Ed and I need to get hugged.

Should you recommend a psychiatrist or psychologist? That depends entirely on the two of you. The only counsel I’d give on that is this: Wait until he’s in a good mood, then ask him if he thinks he needs help when he’s feeling down. By bringing it up you may be suggesting that it’s okay with you but the decision is his. You know how they are about making up their own minds!

Helping to Apply Meds
from Jeannie in TN

Dear Clara: I have been married to my Flaker for over a year and 1/2.  He started me out right by asking me to help put on coal tar on the back of his legs with a Q-tip when we were dating.  I didn't mind at all and have continued to pet him every way I can. I will email you from time to time. Thanks for your support.  -Jeannie in TN

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Clara's Response: So glad you visited Spouses' Corner. We do a lot for our husbands. I've been with my flaker for 13 years.  Honey, it DOES get easier.

Do keep in touch. -Clara

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