Daughter, 29, Getting it Hard
from Anne C.

Hello from Australia.  My 29 year old daughter, Melanie, developed psoriasis last year after a particularly stressful time at work.  We have been unable to trace a genetic link.  It frightens me terribly to know just how much of her beautiful body could be affected and her life ruled by this condition.  At this time the plaque psoriasis is growing slowly in patches all over her body, and she is yet to find a means of keeping it in check or diminishing it. 

I spend much time on the Internet seeking information for her and just learning more about this condition.  (I somehow find it hard to call it a 'disease.')  I find FlakeHQ a great help in understanding just what people go through.  Dealing with people's reactions to the psoriasis is certainly a major issue.  I am amazed though by the number of people who have psoriasis.  There's always someone in a group who either has it or has a relative with it, fortunately often only in a minor way.  Keep up the good work Ed and thanks for bringing us all closer together.  May God grant a cure! 

Anne C. (Surrey Hills, Victoria, Australia)

*****

Ed’s Response:  Nice to hear from you, Anne ... and difficult to imagine that as I type this you are preparing for Winter’s chill while we’re welcoming summer’s sunshine.  Well, usually at least half the world is in a good mood.  Right?

I can imagine how disturbing it is for you to watch your daughter grow more P lesions, how helpless you feel despite all the company you discover and information you can find.  When all’s said and done, it’s a personal condition that brings about a personal state of mind, and you can’t get into your daughter’s case that far.  Nobody can. 

But you can help her, as we help each other, with our reassurances that P is something people live through.  There’s no sense saying “don’t get depressed” because we are all, occasionally, going to get depressed.  Better to say, “Have a good cry then come out and play.  Will you?”  There’s no sense in suggesting “things could be worse” because we know that, but at that moment things for us are quite bad enough thank you.  Better to say, “Take a moment and do something that will make you feel better then come out and play.  Will you?”   Don’t say “Stop feeling sorry for yourself,” because sometimes that’s as hard to do as not scratching when it itches.  Better to say, “How much time do you need to feel sorry for yourself, and, when you’re done, do come out and play.  Will you?”  Then, make the flaker wash a window with you, one of you on either side.  Just TRY not to make faces!

The chances are excellent that your daughter will not be flaking when she turns 40.  Some one or more of the many new therapies now in trial or just being introduced will become available and will help her control her psoriasis.  You are doing the right thing by staying in touch and in tune.  Best wishes!  -Ed

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